Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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