i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My bed smells like the plague
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