dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
