booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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