Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
