I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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