From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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