So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize