i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
