Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
