"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
