God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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