I wish my penis had an off switch
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize