the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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