I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I should be sponsored by Trojan
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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