oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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