he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize