I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
tell me about the fingering
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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