i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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