sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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