Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.

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  (407): Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer. http://tfl.nu/hnl7
  Replies (5) Good night (1721) Bad night (3021)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?

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  (248): sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking? http://tfl.nu/8ucv
  Replies (1) Good night (1752) Bad night (690)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  : I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.

  (1-301): View more from Maryland

  but u need boobs to get one in the first place.

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  (301): : I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs. (1-301): but u need boobs to get one in the first place. http://tfl.nu/nypm
  Replies (4) Good night (715) Bad night (1263)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I cockslap morals

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  (917): I cockslap morals http://tfl.nu/zqeh
  Replies (5) Good night (3229) Bad night (672)
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  (310): View more from California

  I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"

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  (310): I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers" http://tfl.nu/rpqk
  Replies (11) Good night (848) Bad night (2497)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.

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  (214): New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises. http://tfl.nu/b9dr
  Replies (14) Good night (752) Bad night (2808)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.

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  (585): It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight. http://tfl.nu/zyt9
  Replies (10) Good night (3492) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...

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  (630): She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket... http://tfl.nu/7hai
  Replies (11) Good night (1487) Bad night (3628)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning

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  (315): My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning http://tfl.nu/4o81
  Replies (14) Good night (6195) Bad night (840)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.

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  (860): Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life. http://tfl.nu/zt1o
  Replies (21) Good night (2460) Bad night (4937)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college

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  (864): theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college http://tfl.nu/024s
  Replies (6) Good night (2990) Bad night (911)
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  (714): View more from California

  the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.

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  (714): the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead. http://tfl.nu/2k13
  Replies (7) Good night (2004) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides

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  (617): I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides http://tfl.nu/z2rz
  Replies (2) Good night (1860) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages

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  (901): its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages http://tfl.nu/zo01
  Replies (9) Good night (782) Bad night (1300)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.

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  (716): Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk. http://tfl.nu/8ftw
  Replies (2) Good night (544) Bad night (220)

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