At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.