i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Randomize
