haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
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The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
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81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.