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• (305): View more from Florida

  You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Update, its a couple

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.

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• (+86): View more from China

  Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I feel like a drive thru vagina

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.

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