You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work