He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
