why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
