ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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