Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
