"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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