Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
