he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
