i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
this will be a night to untag.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
