I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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