my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
