You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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