It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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