so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Dicks are not precious.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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