that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
