Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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