I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
