i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
