bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Enjoy the penises
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
