My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
