Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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