Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
