return my video game
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he was CRYING into my vagina
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
