i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize