She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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