I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
