whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
