sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
