Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
