Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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