he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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