let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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