guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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